Philosophy over coffee

Archive for May, 2009|Monthly archive page

Questioning

In Uncategorized on May 24, 2009 at 8:04 am

It’s been a week since I got back. And I’m sick. In my more than 1 year in the US, or almost 2.5 years if we are to ignore the month or two I flew back home for a short vacation, I have never fallen ill. So my family, I joked: I don’t belong here. And I truly refuse to believe otherwise. It was probably something so shallow as the better weather or so deep as the exhilirating experience of being alone, of independence, which from the moment I entered the national airport in January of 07 for my first ever trip alone has already provided that feeling. Somehow, I feel that this isn’t my place. Or have I simply changed?

Months after my last post, I was inspired to ponder on this, yet again, after reading a friend’s blog. This apparently is not the first time I have thought about it; my friend Belle can attest to the incessant ranting I’ve done, which I think in itself is a sign of my difficulty coming to terms with the fact that my old life awaits me. From my friend’s post, I picked up she did not completely feel settled despite having lived in Europe for around 2 years. With that, I once again thought, why does it seem like those who don’t want it as much as I do get them, while I don’t? Or is it only that I have not experienced exactly what they have that makes it impossible for me to conclude the same?

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Unfinished: Adjustments

In Life Matters on May 24, 2009 at 7:30 am

In 2 weeks’ time, I am scheduled to fly back to the Philippines. Apart from leaving the place I got used to, it is also the little things that would make leaving more difficult. It’s not completely horrible, but I suppose there are things that just completely set my life here apart from my life back home.

  • There will no longer be the CNBC which I’ve come to love. I suppose I’d have to ask my parents to subscribe to the premium service or whatever it is that would get me that network; we only have Bloomberg.
  • There will no longer be the Financial Times that gets delivered to me every day.  I am considering just subscribing to the online version of the Wall Street Journal, which is much less expensive.  Apparently, being a non-student already strips me off of the discount students get from subscribing to the FT (print – $109 vs. some $350 a year). Also no Barron’s.
  • Easily, going back means letting go of the opportunity with presumably the better job prospects in Finance/Econs. But I can only promise that that would only be for the meantime. I ain’t giving up on that.
  • Odd hours, if at all there’s any, for sports. Football – American and the real thing 😉 Tennis would probably be more amenable.

Seeing that this post was started on May 3, and now it is the 24th, I figured it might be better leaving this post unfinished. Just as I believe, unrealistic as it may be, that I don’t have to get used to another kind of life – the old ways of my life. It is only a matter of time before I find what I’m truly looking for.